I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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