My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Randomize
