Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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