So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Randomize