He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Randomize
