too bad you live with your parents still
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
