Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
