I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize