the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Green mimosas i think yes
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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