Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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