I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
