never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
