My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
