i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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