Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
