I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
