i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
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