she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
