ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
no more duck duck goose at the bar
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Randomize
