Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Randomize
