So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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