Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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