Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
