hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Randomize