btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
