is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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