god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
My vagina is very pro this idea
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
