OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
