I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
