If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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