I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Less talking, more tequila
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
