why didn't you poke me back
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Randomize
