Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
