I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
