Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize