Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
