You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
