she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
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