I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
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