You smell like stripper and shame
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
