dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Randomize
