margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
