You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Randomize
