I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
