We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
