Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Randomize
