highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
