i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
