Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
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