All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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