One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
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