it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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