Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Quick, to the slutcave!
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
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