if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
