I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
You ate ashes out of my bong
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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