I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
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