Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Randomize
