i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
