So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
